Resilience can be a complicated and layered word for anybody, no matter their age. Hopefully these hands on tools and practices help your child learn and live out resilience in their hearts everyday. 

 

Much of resilience research notes that it is important for a child to:

1. Feel the love and support of a parent

2. Have a diverse group of friends

3. Have at least one other adult, outside the family, to support the child through difficulties

 

Some of these things are difficult to include in your child’s life with social distancing, but perhaps focus on the family unit aspect and the ways you can support your child. 

 

Article

 

How to Let Your Children Learn From Failure- Dianne Tavenner 

Excerpt:

“While the basic idea of learning from failure is supported by evidence, the sink-or-swim method doesn’t really work. Failing is only productive when two things are true: first, the person who fails actually learns something from it and is thus motivated to try again, and second, the failure doesn’t permanently close future doors.”

 

Meditations/ Rooted Practices 

 

Wiggle Meditation

Ages 0-4 

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I wiggle my fingers. [wiggle fingers]

I wiggle my toes. [wiggle feet]

I wiggle my shoulders. [wiggle shoulders]

I wiggle my nose. [wiggle nose]

Now no more wiggles are left in me, [leader sits down]

So I’ll be as still as still can be.

 

Perhaps your child is feeling agitated and having difficulty articulating their body sensations of frustration, failure or fear. Engaging each part of the body can release anxiety and reassure your child that you are there to guide them through discomfort.

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Rubber Band Meditation

Ages 4+

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Let your child choose one or a variety of rubber bands/hair elastics to keep on their bedside table or in a special place in the home. Each night, allow your child to stretch the rubber band, and ask them this question:

 

When was one time today you felt stretched and had a hard time dealing with a problem today?

 

Let them explain all their emotions and feelings that came up in this challenging situation. 

 

Explain to them that just like the rubber band returns to its normal size after being stretched, so will they return back to a resting state of peace and calm. 

 

There is also a lot for your child(ren) to learn if the rubber band shoots across the room, into their face or is lost. Take these moments of surprise, shock, humor or distress to note the parallels to their own lives: 

-sometimes life’s difficulties make us feel like hiding

-or make us go “BOING” because they come so suddenly and we don’t expect them 

 

Talk about what helpful skills can give them bounce throughout the day. Encourage them to recognize their emotions, reach out and have self-compassion. Use the word bounce with your child throughout the day in difficult situations. 

 

Leading questions to figure out what techniques fit your child best:

-ask which people they can reach out to in those moments to share their emotions and frustrations?

-what is a calming activity to do after?

 

Always end the conversation with the reminder that you are there for them in those moments of distress.

 

Music/Videos/Stories

 

Visit the Kids Page:

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Everyday Resilience Responses: 

 

You might also want to use the following phrases to cultivate compassionate resilience within your family:

• Life feels really hard right now, but I know it won’t always be this way. Tomorrow is a new day

• It’s important to listen to your body and give it what it needs.

• It’s OK to say No.

• All your emotions are valid here, you are safe to express your emotions in our family.

 

Get Curious!

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Discuss with your child something that they have always wanted to do but were too scared to try because they thought they may not be good at it.